Movies
by jm1681
Summary: Suffering a massive hangover, Rock regales his colleagues with the events of his alcohol induced dream. Omake-esque. One-shot, Revy/Rock. Please Review.


_Hello again, Black Lagoon Archive :)_

_So after last weeks entry, I needed to laugh a little. After a conversation with IonScream concerning the Black Lagoon omakes, I had to write this, and so, please consider this my version of an omake. I know my characters can typically be OoC, in this hopefully it will be forgivable, as what I've done here is nothing short of absolutely preposterous, especially towards the end._

_Hopefully the layout isn't too hard to follow. One thing I might note, non-italicized text, in the middle of a dream sequence is a character speaking over Rock's storytelling ;)_

_Anyway, I don't own anything referenced herein. If I did, I'd be way more awesome._

* * *

Rock inelegantly strolled through the door of the Lagoon Company office, one minute past his usual. The crew sat about on the couches in the lounge, all but Revy's attention turning to Rock who was late for the first time in nearly two years. Before he had the chance to tease his employee, Dutch took note of the half-open state of Rock's eyes, as well as the bags beneath them.

The boss smiled as he looked to his watch and playfully remarked, "Damn, Rock. You're one minute late, that's gonna cost you fifteen whole minutes."

"Sorry about that, Dutch," Rock morosely replied as he headed to the couch that Revy lay on.

Without diverting her attention from her magazine, Revy lifted her legs, allowing Rock a place to sit on the couch before stretching them back across the tops of his thighs.

"You alright, Rock?" Dutch asked.

"Abrego's men insisted on buying me drinks after last night's job," Rock replied bleakly.

"Bit the worm, huh?" Revy asked.

"Uh-huh," Rock replied, before audibly choking up.

"Don't you dare fuckin' puke on me, dumbass," Revy commented, again without looking away from her magazine.

The crew shared a laugh at Revy's comment, and Rock's head fell back onto the couch. He cracked his mouth open in an attempt to fill his body with as much oxygen as possible.

"Here," Benny said, now standing right beside Rock.

"Huh?" Rock asked having lost consciousness for a second while Benny got him some aspirin and water. He squinted to better take in the blurry outline that was Benny and replied, "Oh, thanks."

He knocked back the pills and after taking a breath, addressed his co-workers, "I had the strangest dream."

"Really?" Dutch asked. "What about?"

Rock's head again fell onto the couch as he replied, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Benny took his seat on the couch and replied with a smile, "Well that sounds interesting enough, come on let's hear it, Rock."

Revy finally turned away from her magazine, to face the Lagoon Company's navigator, as she replied, "Don't encourage him, Benny."

"Come on, Revy," Dutch pleaded. He smiled as he addressed his gunslinger, "How often do we get to see Rock this fucked up? It ought to be a laugh."

Revy sighed as she folded her magazine shut and placed it on the table, "Ah fine." She turned to Rock and asked, "Well, Rock?"

The businessman from Japan closed his eyes as he recalled his dream, "It all started in the desert."

*****

_A bright red Cadillac convertible roared through the Nevada desert. Behind the wheel sat Rock, beside him, a daydreaming Revy. Dutch and Benny took up residence in the back seats looking most serious._

"We must've been driving to Las Vegas because I kept seeing signs for different casinos. I couldn't tell you what we were doing there, but I heard this noise, and when I looked up…"

_A swarm of bats appeared to hover above the car and Rock's eyes sporadically shifted to observe them._

"…the sky was full of what looked like huge bats." I remember thinking, "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamned animals?!"

_Rock stood from the driver's seat and swatted at the bats, swerving the car all across the empty highway in the process._

_The swaying of the car brought Revy to wake from her daydreaming and drearily ask, "What the fuck was that?"_

_Rock once again sat back and took the wheel as he shouted, "Never mind, it's your turn to drive."_

*****

"Didn't I see that in a movie?" Benny asked.

"So I pulled the car off to the side of the road, and that's when things got really strange," Rock continued. "You know how in your dreams, you end up in strange places with no regard to geography?"

"Yeah," Dutch replied.

"Well the car disappeared and it was just Revy and me, standing outside this old cabin in the middle of the woods."

*****

_Rock and Revy looked all around them as they stood in the woods in an attempt to get their bearings. Suddenly the front door to the cabin creaked open bringing the both of them to turn their attention to it._

"If this goes where I think it does--"

Rock interrupted Revy, "No, you see when the door opened…"

_The sound of a 2-stroke chainsaw being pull-started emanated from the house and Roanapur's resident cleaner appeared from the behind the door. Sawyer raised her voice box to her throat, and a horrendous sound -probably her version of a scream- came from it, "AHHHHHHHH!"_

"_Holy shit!" Rock shouted as he and Revy ran down the road and away from the cabin._

"What?" Revy asked, "I didn't have my cutlass?"

"Unfortunately, no."

_Rock and Revy continued to run from Sawyer, who was now violently swinging her chainsaw in their wake. Again she raised her voice box to her throat and that awful growl again rang out, "AHHHHHHHH!"_

*****

Now on the edge of his seat, Dutch asked, "What happened next?"

"No matter how hard or how far we ran, we couldn't get away from her," Rock replied. "But then, everything changed again."

"What now?" Revy asked.

*****

_As they ran, they found themselves surrounded by a truly surreal environment; lush green mountains, a forest of color and a thick brown river flowing through all of it._

"_What the fuck is this bullshit?! Revy barked as she slowed._

_Lost in their surroundings, Rock suddenly remembered they were being chased by Sawyer as he shouted, "Oh fuck!"_

_They quickly turned, almost certain of their impending doom, only to find Sawyer holding a gigantic candy cane as opposed to her chainsaw. At the sight of the ridiculous object she held, Sawyer threw her voice box to the thick green grass at her feet and wildly swung the candy cane around._

"_Well she's handling that well," Rock commented._

"_What the fuck is this place?"_

_Rock approached the dark brown lake and knelt beside it. He dipped the tip of his finger into the thick brown substance and brought it to his tongue._

"_What is it?"_

"_It's…" Rock paused as he struggled with their situation, "…chocolate."_

"_What?" Revy asked._

"_Of course it's chocolate," a man said from behind Rock and Revy. _

_They quickly stood and took in a truly disturbing sight. Mr. Chang wore a massive top hat, and as opposed to his typical black coat, he wore a bright purple trench coat._

"_Chang?" Revy asked in disbelief._

"_The name's Wonka, little girl," Chang replied. "Now if you four are good little boys and girls--"_

"_We four?" Rock asked._

"_Yes, you two…" Chang replied as he pointed to Rock and Revy, "…and those two." He pointed just in front of Rock and Revy at Hansel and Gretel who had appeared from nowhere._

*****

"What the fuck were _they_ doing there?" Revy asked.

"I don't know, but that's when things really started to get strange," Rock replied.

*****

_The beautiful scenery and lush greenery vanished, and now Rock and Revy stood in a seemingly endless and narrow corridor of a hotel. Closed doors to the multiple rooms turned the corridor into a long and claustrophobic expanse._

"_Fucking hell!" Revy shouted, "This is getting a little fucking aggra--"_

"_Come and play with us…" Two young voices eerily spoke._

_The hairs on the back of Rock and Revy's necks stood on end as they slowly turned to see where the voices had come from. On the opposite end of the corridor, Hansel and Gretel stood hand-in-hand, and again they spoke, "Come and play with us, Revy."_

_Their faces turned a new shade of white as Revy commented, "Rock--"_

_She was interrupted by the twins, "Forever…"_

_Without another word, Rock and Revy turned and ran down the corridor, only for the twins to continue, "…and ever…" _

_When they turned behind them, it almost appeared as though they hadn't moved at all. The hallway flooded with blood as they ran and one last time the twin's voices could be heard, "…and ever."_

*****

Revy, Dutch and Benny all sat with their mouths agape at this latest bit of Rock's dream.

"So what happened?" Benny asked, "Did you escape?!"

"I don't know how, but we ended up in this strange black car," Rock replied.

*****

_A multitude of gadgets, lights, and switches adorned the vehicle's dashboard. Revy and Rock took in their surroundings for a minute and Revy commented, "Hey wait a minute…Isn't this--"_

_She turned to Rock, which instantly gave their situation away. Rock wore a black mask with two pointed ears, and a black body suit, complete with cape. Revy immediately roared with laughter as she commented, "Who the fuck are you supposed to be, Batman?"_

_Rock looked down at himself and replied, "It would appear so." He turned to look at Revy and a smile quickly formed on his face. She was dressed in form fitting black leather, also donning a mask with two distinct cat ears, "Which I suppose would make you Catwoman."_

_Revy's laughter instantly ceased as she checked herself over, "Fucking hell." _

_Revy turned to find Rock indiscreetly staring directly at her chest, and shouted before clocking him on the head, "Enjoying the fuckin' view, dipshit?!"_

_He turned back to face the road as he apologized, "I'm sorry they're just--"_

*****

"Just what, Rock?!" Revy shouted, now sitting up and looking infuriated.

The edge now lifted from Rock's headache, his eyes widened as he cowered into the corner of the couch.

"Well?!" Revy again barked.

"They're…" Rock searched for the right words, "…really…" again he paused as he tried to think of a way to not get shot, "…nice."

Revy's eyes tightened as she growled, "Why you--"

"Why don't you skip ahead a little, Rock?" Dutch asked, successfully interrupting Revy's outburst.

"Further down the road, I saw this figure standing in our way," Rock continued.

*****

_Boss Chang stood in the middle of the road, still wearing a bright purple trench coat, though something was different now. His face was painted white, his smile a vibrant red, and his typically neat and jet-black hair was a messy and dirty green._

"_And that would be 'The Joker'," Revy commented._

_The car slid across the road as Revy and Rock leapt from the roof. Chang pulled an impossibly large machine gun from behind his back and opened fire. Revy and Rock as Catwoman and Batman, hopped and tumbled about the street, expertly dodging every shot. _

_As she ran across the face of a building, Revy shouted, "Hey, Rock; how the fuck am I doing this?"_

_Rock glided along as though he'd jumped out of an airplane, his massive cape extended behind him as he replied, "How long am I gonna fall for?"_

_As the empty magazine of Chang's weapon struck the pavement, Rock and Revy landed in matching kneeling positions, the slow superhero stare in full swing._

_From nowhere, an eruption of fanfare sounded, instantly bringing Revy to comment as she looked around, "What the fuck?!"_

_Behind them, a blinding white light emanated from the center of the street as a figure appeared amongst the deafening string section of indeterminate origin._

_Rotton slowly came into view wearing a long black trench coat and an even more stylish pair of sunglasses than usual. As the fanfare quieted down, he quietly commented, "There is no spoon."_

_Chang raised an automatic Glock and dumped the trigger at Rotton. Time slowed to a crawl as Rotton's body elegantly leaned back to dodge the onslaught of bullets…a second too late. Every last shot of the Glock's 33-round magazine struck the poor wizard, each time eliciting a shriek from the consistently ill-prepared buffoon, "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"_

_Luckily, his trademark bullet-proof vest kept him alive; just so he might here Revy scold him, "Fuckin' dumbass! This is Batman; not The Matrix!"_

*****

In the Lagoon office, Revy had long forgotten about Rock's comment concerning the girls, as she laughed at Rock's dream, "What a fuckin' retard. So what happened next, Rock?"

"Well as soon Boss Chang in Joker garb took down Rotton, everything went black," Rock replied.

"You woke up?" Benny asked.

"No…"

*****

"…we were in outer space."

_Benny sat at the controls of a massive starship. In his right hand, he held a plastic Tyrannosaurus Rex, in his left; a plastic Stegosaurus. The dinosaurs carefully plodded over the controls as Benny narrated for the Stego, "Everything looks good from here. Yes this is a fertile land and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it…this land."_

_Just then, Benny turned the Tyrannosaurus and shouted, "I think we should call it your grave!"_

"_Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" The Stego replied._

"_Haha, mine is an evil laugh," They Tyrannosaurus chuckled. Benny banged the two animals together and shouted, "Now die!"_

"_Oh, dear god!" The Stego yelped, "Oh, no god--"_

_A beeping at the controls brought his actions to cease immediately. He dropped the dinosaurs as he checked a screen on the panel. He pressed a finger to a comm. unit and spoke, "Hey, Dutch? We've got company!"_

_Dutch and Rock donned complete space suits while Revy floated along in the black, still wearing her catsuit and no form of breathing apparatus, though not having any sort of difficult breathing._

"_Fuck me," Dutch muttered in his suit._

*****

"Wait a fuckin' minute!" Revy barked, "What the fuck am I still doing in leather?"

"I can't help how I dreamt it," Rock replied with shrugged shoulders. "Anyway, everything changed right after that."

*****

_In the front seat of a classic American sedan, Revy and Rock sat in discussion. Rock was now dressed in a fine and well straightened black and white suit, while Revy still donned her leather catsuit._

"Are you fucking kidding me, Rock?!" Revy shouted.

"If you want to ruin the story, fine; you were in a suit too," Rock replied.

_In the front seat of the car, Rock confidently spoke, "You wanna play blind man--"_

"I'm a woman, dumbass," Revy interrupted.

"…_go walk with the shepherd but me; my eyes are wide fuckin' open," Rock finished._

_Revy threw her hands up in anger as she replied, "Mr. Chin, what do you make of all this?"_

"_I don't even have an opinion," Mr. Chin replied from the backseat._

_Revy turned to face him, cutlass in hand as she replied, "Well you've gotta have an opinion. Do you really think that God came down from heaven and--"_

_She was interrupted as her cutlass randomly fired._

"_Fuck!" Rock shouted as a sheet of blood and flesh sprayed on his face. "What the fuck is happening, Revy?!"_

"_Oh man, I shot Mr. Chin in the face," Revy replied calmly._

"_Why the fuck did you do that?!" Rock shouted._

"_Well I didn't mean to, it was an accident," Revy defended. "You must've gone over a bump or something."_

"_The car didn't hit a motherfuckin' bump, Revy!" Rock scolded. "Look at this fuckin' mess; we're on a city street in broad daylight here!"_

_Revy calmly replied with Mr. Chin's blood all over her face, "Just take it to a friendly place."_

"_This is the valley, Revy; Balalaika ain't got no friendly--"_

"_Well Rock, this ain't my fuckin' town--"_

"Then we heard this weird surf guitar and we were in some old-fashioned restaurant," Rock commented.

*****

"Surf guitar?" Benny asked.

"Yeah…" Rock replied. He took a drag and continued, "…and Revy and I were dancing."

"What?" Revy asked, looking as though she might take him apart with her bare hands.

*****

_It was a teenage wedding, and the old folks wished them well_

_Revy wore a white blouse and a wide smile as she shook her hips, mere inches away from Rock. Rock swung his arms and knees about as he twisted in place._

"_C'est la vie," say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell_

_Rock's hands came across his face, and opposite him, Revy mimicked his action as she violently shook her body about._

*****

"Rock--" Revy growled through her teeth.

"But then, we disappeared and there was Dutch and Mr. Chang," Rock replied, completely dodging Revy's incoming outburst.

"What the fuck were we doing?" Dutch asked.

*****

_Dutch and Boss Chang sat in a 70's Corvette convertible as it drove through downtown Los Angeles. Mr. Chang flipped the radio on and happily commented, "Ah, Beach Boys!"_

_Dutch's face told of his disapproval, "Oh hell fuckin' no. You did not just touch my goddamn radio!"_

"_The Beach Boys are great American music, Dutch," Chang replied with a smile._

"_The Beach Boys are gonna get you a great American ass-whoopin'! Don't EVER touch a black man's radio!"_

"Then, the both of you were out on some street corner, singing and dancing," Rock commented.

_Dutch and Chang walked along an alley in LA's version of China Town. Their arms flailing as they shouted and sang in unison, "War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothin'!"_

*****

"Wait a minute, wasn't that--"

Revy was now laughing out loud at Rock's dream, while Rock interrupted Benny, "Then we were all at the rip-off church."

Revy asked through her laughter, "Lemme guess, we're all dressed like a bunch of fuckin' nuns, right?"

"Actually, yeah," Rock replied, bringing Revy's smile to flatten out.

*****

_Shenhua, Sawyer, Balalaika, Revy, Roberta, Fabiola, Yolanda, and Eda all donned nun's habits on the chancel at the rip-off church. Before them, Dutch of all people stood, also wearing a habit as well as his trademark sunglasses. In the pews of the church, Yolanda, Rock and Benny all sat watching their friends perform._

"What the fuck, Rock?" Dutch barked, not looking the least bit amused at being a choir mistress. In the meantime, at the mere thought of Dutch in a habit, Revy was once again laughing far too hard to get angry at being in one herself.

"_I will follow him," The octet proudly sang, all of them horrendously off key and time. "Follow him wherever he may go!"_

"_There isn't an ocean too deep!" Dutch rejoiced, "No mountain so high it could keep--"_

"This part better fuckin' end soon, Rock," Dutch warned in a disconcerting tone.

"Well…" Rock trailed off.

*****

_The lighting in the church dimmed and everyone seemed to disappear in the black of the room, except for Rock. The pew disappeared beneath him, and as he fell to the ground, a fluorescent light flashed, revealing the church to have turned into a hospital hallway._

_The lights throughout the hall flickered incessantly and again, the room turned completely black. Rock's fear instantly overtook him and he began to sweat and hyperventilate at his predicament._

_A series of lights flickered on, revealing a blurry white figure. Her movements were erratic and as she came into view, Shenhua's typical red cheongsam was now white, and lucky for Rock, her blades were nowhere to be seen. In the distance, a sound resonated from her black and bruised throat, a horrendous crackling tone which only grew louder as she closed in on him._

_Rock was too terrified to move as she approached him, her advancement a series of fractured and broken movements. As she came ever closer, her eyes were surrounded by dark circles and her jaw loudly cracked from side to side. Suddenly and for no reason, she swayed slightly before falling to her knees, then flat onto her face, stopping in her tracks._

_Just as Rock felt a slight relief pass over him, she peeled herself off the floor and crawled towards him, instantly raising his fear ten fold. Her hands tightly grasped his leg and she used his body to pull her ever closer to him. That awful sound and terrifying image right in front of him, Rock's hands crashed onto his ears and his eyes slammed closed._

*****

Dutch, Benny, and Revy all sat shivering, while Rock nonchalantly smoked a cigarette, now feeling much better.

"Well what the fuck happened next?" Revy asked.

"When I opened my eyes, you were on the ground next to me," Rock replied.

*****

_The surfaces in the hospital hallway had changed. The floor was now a broken and cracked concrete, the walls a decrepit brick work. Rock and Revy sat in this dark and dank hallway, still only illuminated by flickering fluorescent lights._

"_What the fuck is this shit, Rock?" Revy asked._

_They got to their feet and cautiously proceeded down the hall, trying every door on their way to the other end. Their eyes locked as Rock's hand wrapped the doorknob. He twisted it and they entered the pitch-black room. Behind them the door slammed closed and a broken and mechanical voice muttered, "Let's play a game."_

_Rock and Revy jumped into each other's arms in panic, their fear all over their faces as the lights came on. In the corner of the room, Shenhua sat opposite Rotton, and Sawyer; between them, a game of Monopoly._

"_I call tophat," Rotton exclaimed, while Revy and Rock's expressions fell flat at the sight._

*****

"Is this ever gonna fuckin' end?" Dutch asked.

"You're the one who got him started, Dutch," Revy casually replied. She leaned back and spread her arms across the back of the couch. Still in a slight state of inebriation, Rock's eyes wandered to Revy's assets as she finished her thought; luckily for him, with her closed eyes, "You've gone this far, you might as well wrap it up partner."

Rock blushed slightly and he continued, "The room disappeared around us, and you started growing."

From cheery to angry in a heartbeat, "What the fuck do you mean 'I was growing'?!"

*****

_In Manhattan, Revy stood over one hundred feet tall. She looked down at the police cars that had surrounded her on the street below, and looked all around her in panic. Military vehicles approached from every direction and finally, her eyes locked on Rock who was waving his arms to get her attention, "Revy! Over here!"_

_She reached down to pick him up just as the shooting commenced. She waved her arm to shield Rock from the bullets and asked, "What the fuck is this, Rock?!"_

"_I don't know but get us the hell out of here!" Rock shouted in reply._

_Revy ran through the streets of Manhattan until she came to a massive military road block. Her legs locked and as she looked for a way out, Rock began to panic, "Not good, not good!!"_

_Revy swung him into her view and barked, "Would you shut the fuck up, dipshit?! I'm trying to think!"_

_She looked behind her, only for the Empire State building to be directly behind her. She looked at Rock and ordered, "Keep your fuckin' hands to yourself, dumbass."_

"_What?" Rock asked when suddenly she lifted him up and pulled her tank top away slightly, "Wait, what are you doing?!"_

_She dropped Rock between her breasts, and his hands gripped at the neck of her shirt as she ascended the exterior of the Empire State building._

Revy's eyes narrowed as she addressed Rock, "You sure seem to dream about my fuckin' tits a lot, Rock," Revy sneered. "Something you wanna fuckin' tell me?"

_As Revy reached the top of the building, Rock managed to pull himself up to the top of her shirts neck, just in time to spot a small formation of bi-planes approaching. Again he quickly panicked, "Revy look out!"_

_She drew one of her now massive cutlass and obliterated the oncoming planes, "I'm not going down that easy!" She smiled and looked down to where she had dropped Rock as she patted herself on the back, "Not bad right?"_

_Rock was gone however._

"_Rock?" Revy asked as she pulled her shirt away to see if he had fallen out. She turned to the roof top of the building only to see that it had changed. Atop the building, a massive crystal door stood, and before the door, a short woman dressed all in white. At her sides were two enormous dog-like demons._

"_Fabiola? Revy quietly asked herself of the little woman she was staring at._

_Dressed in light brown jumpsuits and wearing unlicensed positron colliders on their backs, Rock, Dutch, Benny and Mr. Chang stood a few feet away from her. They took their proton weapons into their hands and fired them up as Rock shouted, "Let's show this tiny, prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown!"_

_A firefight ensued, and as Fabiola flipped over the crew, they turned and didn't hesitate to fire. Unfortunately, Revy was directly in their path and she quickly leapt from the building to avoid getting hit. Their beams penetrating Fabiola's small form, she vanished into thin air._

"_Fuckin' hell," Revy commented as she brushed herself off from the fall._

_From nowhere, Fabiola's voice filled the air, "Sub creature's, Gozer -the Gozerian Gozer, Volguus Zildroar- the traveler has come. Choose and perish!"_

_On the rooftop, Benny asked the invisible voice, "What do you mean 'choose'?"_

_Again Fabiola's voice echoed, "Choose the form of the destructor!"_

_As Revy holstered her cutlass, she quietly commented, "I hope they don't think of that fuckin' maid."_

"_The choice is made!"_

"_DAMMIT!" Revy shouted as she slammed her palm into her forehead._

"_The traveler has come!"_

_With each footstep of the traveler, a vibration could be felt across Manhattan. Rock, Dutch, Benny, Chang and Revy looked all around until they finally spotted her; the former FARC, turned menacing marshmallow maid._

_Revy's fist crashed into her palm as she psyched herself up for the impending brawl. She looked up to her colleagues and remarked, "I've got this, boys."_

*****

"Please tell me I kicked that marshmallow cunt's ass," Revy begged.

Rock smiled as he continued the story…

*****

_Roberta slowly advanced on Revy and without warning, they ran towards one another and the brawl began. Revy's knuckles slammed into Roberta's face, while Rock, Dutch, Benny and Chang got to work closing the dimensional gate on the rooftop._

_The two psychotic women smashed into the buildings around them, taking out whole blocks of Manhattan real estate in seconds._

"_Fuckin' four eyes!" Revy shouted as she struck Roberta in the face with her elbow, knocking her into another building and knocking it to the ground in the process. As Revy barreled down on Roberta, the marshmallow maid kicked her legs up, knocking Revy back into another building. As she collected herself, she noticed Roberta not brandishing any weapons. A smile formed on Revy's lips as she drew her cutlass._

_Back on the rooftop, the crew crossed their proton streams in an effort to reverse the particle flow through the dimensional gate._

_Roberta quickly advanced on Revy and with a smile of clenched teeth, she fired two shots, blowing the marshmallow maid's head off, covering the rooftop of the building with its sugary remains. As the dimensional gate exploded, Roberta's headless marshmallow body collapsed to the street, saturating everything in its path with marshmallow._

_On the rooftop, Dutch was covered in the gooey remains of Roberta's head as he commented, "Fuckin' hell." He got to his feet and called out, "Survivors, sound off."_

"_Somehow I'm alive," Benny replied, also similarly covered in marshmallow._

_Chang was also covered head-to-toe in marshmallow, a broken cigarette in his hand as he replied, "Yeah I'm here."_

"_Where's Rock?" Dutch asked his teammates._

"_I'm here," Rock casually replied with not a speck of marshmallow on him._

"_You okay?" Benny asked._

"_Fine," Rock replied with a smile._

_They slowly walked about the destroyed rooftop in search of any sign of life. As they came to the statue-esque body of one of the terror dogs, Dutch commented, "Sorry, Rock."_

_Rock's head sank down as he walked away from the creature just as a muffled groan emanated from within it. Rock's fists pounded the statue, breaking pieces loose in the process._

_Revy's weak form fell out of the creature's body and she asked, "Where the fuck am I?"_

_Across the rooftop, Rotton shouted from within the body of the other dog, "Somebody turn on the lights!"_

"_Go check on that retard back there!" Rock called to his teammates as he helped Revy from the confines of the statue._

*****

"What that's it?" Revy asked.

Now feeling 100% again, Rock replied, "Yep."

"What a shitty fuckin' ending," Revy remarked.

"At least you lived, Revy," Dutch replied.

"Whatever," Revy barked as she retreated to the bathroom.

"So how'd it really end, Rock?" Benny asked.

*****

_Rock held the now safe Revy in his arms. She pulled away from him slightly and their lips delicately met with much random and inexplicable fanfare._

*****

"But it was just a dream," Rock replied with a smile.

"Well I thought it was a hoot," Benny replied.

"Aside from being a choir mistress, I thought it was pretty great too," Dutch replied.

"Thanks guys," Rock replied with a smile. "Plus, my hangover's gone now."

"Glad to hear it," Dutch replied as he checked his watch. "Well, it's just about that time; Yellow Flag?"

He smiled, "No, I think I've had enough to drink for quite a while. I'll just head home."

-

Later that night, Rock lay awake in bed at his apartment. A cigarette hung from his lips and he stared at the ceiling as his dream replayed in his head. So much sub-conscious thought of Revy, or more specifically, of Revy's body. Then of course there was that last moment of rescuing her, after she became a dog. A slight smile formed on his lips when suddenly; there was a knock at his door.

He got to his feet and opened the door revealing Revy leaning up against the door jamb. She reached her arms through the doorway and pulled Rock to her. Their lips forcefully crashed together and as Rock struggled to retain a clear head, Revy took one of his hands and placed it on her chest, instantly causing Rock's eyes to widen. Within a few moments, she pulled herself away from him, though his gentle grip on her chest remained.

"Uh, Rock…" Her expression fell flat as she commented, "…you can let go of my tit now."

Rock quickly and clumsily let go, as he replied, "Not to sound ungrateful, but what was that for?"

"Was it everything you dreamt it would be?" Revy asked with a smile.

Rock smiled slightly in disbelief, "Better."

Her expression instantly turned into one of raw fury as she roared, "So you're dreaming about squeezing my fuckin' tits, Rock?!"

"Hey!" Rock shouted as Revy punched her partner in the chest.

"Ah, I'm just fuckin' with you, dumbass," Revy replied and playfully placed an arm around his neck. "But seriously…" She punched him in the head dropping him to the ground, "…stop dreaming about my tits, asswipe."

* * *

_And that's that. If you made it this far, I hope you enjoyed it :)_

_I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's just not a jm fic if Revy and Rock don't kiss ;)_

_A very big thank you to Ion. Without his input, this would've been much less fun ;)_

_-jm_


End file.
